If you ask the average overweight person if they would like to Lose Weight? Most would say “Yes” – but it’s a very weak yes… Most people today are what I call “Comfortably Overweight”…
While they may not like being fat – they can live with it. And that’s the reason why most people never lose weight and keep it off long term.
Sure you may get an occasionally short term boost of motivation to go on yet another “weight loss diet” – when the New Years Resolutions goals come around, or if you have a special event coming up (i.e. wedding, holiday, high school reunion, etc.) where you don’t want everyone to see how fat you’ve become – and you don’t want to look bad in the pictures that will be posted up on social media afterwards.
But these goals are all surface level goals and never provide a BIG enough reason WHY you absolutely have to make a change to lose the weight, get in shape, and improve your health long term.
How To Find Your Motivation To Lose Weight…
One of the exercises that I take my personal fitness coaching students through to help them uncover their real motivation for losing weight and getting in shape is what we call the “5 Whys Exercise”.
The purpose of the 5 Whys Exercise is to get you thinking deeper into the more powerful and motivating reasons for why you absolutely “Have To” lose weight, get in shape, and improve your health so you can live the quality of life you deserve.
It’s a very simple exercise, but a very powerful one – especially when you take the time to actually do it – and not just brush this off as some cheesy positive thinking bunch of non-sense… After all it’s your life we’re talking about here, so you should take it seriously.
To show you how it works, I’m going to get vulnerable and share my own personal weight loss transformation journey.
How I’ve Struggled With My Weight…
In case you’re not familiar with me and my story… I started working out back in 1990, I entered my first bodybuilding competition in 1995, and throughout my teens, 20’s, and 30’s I competed in the Canadian Bodybuilding Federation with 15 trophies to my name.
I launched my first bodybuilding & fitness website back in 1997 and was one of the pioneers to the entire online bodybuilding and fitness industry.
I have personally coached hundreds of up and coming bodybuilders and fitness enthusiasts. And through my website, YouTube videos, and fitness programs I had the opportunity to impact the lives of thousands of guys from all over the world.
Back in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s competing in Bodybuilding Competitions was my main motivation and passion. However, after I “retired” from bodybuilding competition, got married, and became a father. That motivation wasn’t there anymore.
My priorities shifted from “me-focused”… to “we-focused”…
I worked more hours to keep the bills paid and put food on the table. And for the first time in my life I understood the challenges that busy men and hard-working fathers face…
I found myself saying things like:
“I’m too busy to go to the gym, I’ll take the day off and get back on track tomorrow…”
But tomorrow kept getting pushed further and further back.
When it came to eating healthy, I was too exhausted to meal prep. So I’d tell myself:
“I’ll just order a pizza tonight, and I’ll start back on my diet on Monday…”
But week after week I told myself the same thing…
Before I knew it, my former competitive bodybuilder physique turned into something that looked more like the Pillsbury Doughboy…
But for some reason I just couldn’t find the motivation to take action – and this is the result.
I had ballooned up to 240 pounds, had a waistline that stretched the tape measure to over 40 inches, I got fat, lazy, and felt disgusted with myself…
The muscle around my chest was soft. I had man-boobs, love handles, rolls of lower back fat, and my gut stuck out further than my chest…
It was embarrassing because here I was – “Lee Hayward the Bodybuilding & Fitness Coach” – and yet my body didn’t look anything like someone who worked out or kept fit.
The crazy thing about it was I knew exactly what I had to do in order to get in shape… Heck, I was a former provincial bodybuilding champion, I’ve gotten ripped 6-pack abs in the past and I’ve personally helped hundreds of others do it as well.
But for some reason I just couldn’t find the motivation this time around to do what I knew I should do intellectually. I had become comfortable with letting myself get fat…
How I Turned My Life Around And Got Ripped After 40…
This is where the 5 Whys Exercise really helped me to turn my life around, get my sh!t together, set my priorities straight, and finally build a lean ripped body after age 40…
It all boils down to simply asking yourself…
What do you want to achieve – and why?
What kind of person do you want to be – and why?
And keep asking yourself “WHY” over and over again until you uncover those deep rooted reasons. The reasons that you’ve been burying and hiding away for far too long…
Here are my answers to the 5 Whys Exercise…
(maybe you can relate to some of them)
————
Q: Why do you want to lose weight and get back in shape?
A: Because I want to lose fat, improve my health, and maintain a lean body year round.
————
Q: Why is that important to you?
A: So I can look lean, athletic and feel good about myself. I don’t like being fat and overweight. I want to look like a fitness coach who actually takes care of his health and fitness.
————
Q: And why is that important?
A: I want people to respect me. I want to look attractive. I want to hold my head high and standout as someone who is in shape, positive, healthy, energetic, and fit… Rather than feeling embarrassed and self conscious about being fat.
————
Q: And why is that important?
A: I’ll feel more confident about myself. I’ll be able to do things that right now I don’t feel comfortable doing. I won’t be embarrassed to take my shirt off, because right now I’m ashamed to go to the swimming pool, to go on a beach vacation, and I don’t even want to get changed in the gym locker room, or let my wife see me naked because I feel so embarrassed about how fat I’ve let myself become.
————
Q: And why is that important?
A: I’ll be able to enjoy living my life to the fullest and do the things I want to do without feeling shame, guilt, and embarrassment. I’ll have more energy, more confidence, and I’ll set a positive example for my son Harvey. I don’t want him to grow up with a fat out of shape dad and think that it’s “OK” to let himself get fat. I want to lead by example so that my son grows up with healthy lifestyle habits right from the start.
————
You notice how each time I asked “WHY” I went a level deeper into the more powerful reasons for me.
If I just stopped at I’m doing this because I want to “Lose Weight” – nothing would have changed because that’s a pretty weak reason.
There’s no motivation or drive to change your life for the sake of just “Losing Weight” – hence the reason why over 60% of American’s today are overweight or obese.
It’s not that we don’t have the tools, the knowledge, or the resources… There are more gyms than ever before, you have access to better nutrition than ever before, there are more personal trainers, dieticians, fitness and lifestyle coaches than ever before…
Just think about it – right now at this very moment you have access to literally everything that you need to make a fitness and fat loss transformation… The only thing you’re missing is a big enough reason WHY you need to change, and the courage to reach out ask someone for help in doing so.
And I’m not pointing the finger at anyone, because I was just as guilty as anyone. I got lazy and became “Comfortably Overweight”. While I wasn’t happy with how I looked or felt – it wasn’t bad enough for me to change – and it took me a long time to finally realize that I needed some help to turn things around.
There wasn’t any life threatening illness, I wasn’t on any blood pressure, cholesterol, or diabetic medication to stay alive. I could still do normal things like walk up a flight of stairs, fit into an airplane seat, and I could still function as an average human being.
Bottom line, it wasn’t bad enough for me to do anything about it – and that’s why I let myself get fat in the first place… There wasn’t enough pain to make me want to change anything. I was comfortable being average, and these days, being average means you’re overweight…
However, when I went deeper and started asking myself “The 5 Why’s” – it got me thinking about the bigger more meaningful things in my life. Things that went way beyond just wanting to “Lose Weight”…
Ultimately, I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I wasn’t living life to my potential. I was just enduring life and surviving… Not fully living and thriving… What a waste!
Being fat limited the things that I did, it prevented me from giving my family the experiences they deserved – like taking them on vacations, going swimming, being active, or doing anything that would reveal how fat and out of shape I had become – all because I was too embarrassed and didn’t like the way I looked.
It affected my relationship with my wife and our sex life suffered because I was too ashamed to let her see me naked. I had to make love wearing a T-shirt and with the lights turned off – just so I could try and hide my rolls of belly fat.
And then the big one for me…
What kind of example was I setting for my son Harvey?
I don’t want him to grow up with a fat out of shape dad and think that it’s “normal” to let himself get fat, be unhealthy, feel low confidence, and experience guilt and shame about his body.
Every parent knows that your kids don’t listen to what you say – they only see what you do… So if you’re neglecting your health and fitness right now – guess who’s watching and learning by example…
Bottom Line: I had to Man Up, Get My Sh!t Together, and Lead By Example so that I could be the man my family needs me to be!
This physical transformation journey has affected my entire quality of life – and the life of my family. It’s not just about me anymore. My family needs me to be strong, healthy, fit, and confident – so I can provide them with the quality of life that they deserve.
That’s been my driving force to get back in shape, and that’s why I’m never going to let myself go back to being the fat out of shape old version of me that I used to be. My life and the life of my family is way too important to let that happen.
What is your reason WHY?
When you uncover those deep reasons for “WHY” you absolutely must change – that’s when you will find the motivation to change!
I hope reading this has been helpful for you. I know it was helpful for me just writing it, because it has re-ignited my motivational fire to keep pushing forward.
I encourage you to go through your own version of the “5 Whys Exercise”.
And just to let you know, you don’t have to stop at 5 whys… But it usually takes going at least 5 levels deep to uncover your true motivation and find the deep reasons that will shake you to the core and get you to man up and make a change.
If reading this has motivated you in anyway, and you would like some help to come up with a realistic action plan for how you can finally lose the weight, get back in shape, and feel good about yourself – just let me know.
For a limited time, I’m offering a Complementary Consultation Coaching Call for guys who don’t want to be fat anymore and are serious about making a positive change in their lives.
We’ll hop on the phone and discuss a realistic action plan that’s right for you. And if you’re a good fit, we can even discuss the possibility of having you come on board with my exclusive Muscle After 40 Blueprint Coaching program so that you can create a lasting fitness and fat loss transformation for yourself.
If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, just click on the link below, fill out the short application form, and book a time to speak with me in my calendar.
I Help Men Over 40 To Lose The Gut, Build Muscle, and Revive Your Entire Body – without starvation diets or extreme workouts – While Strengthening Your Heart and Joints For Years To Come!
If you are ready to “Start Over” for the last time and finally claim the gains you deserve… Without Punishing Your Body… Then let’s chat and plan out a strategy that’s right for YOU!
Click Here To Book Your Complementary Consultation Coaching Call.
all the best,
Lee
